by Larry Sharpe

   This article was originally published in The Productivity Institute (PI) Newsletter

We’ve all been there, at some “networking event” where all the attendees can’t wait to shove their business cards in our face.  Shark on Shark networking!  Ouch.  No problem, we’ve read books that tell us how to give a great “elevator pitch”.  So, now we are prepared for success.  We can build a real network of relationships, right?  Nope!

This is not networking; this is cold calling in person.  It’s based upon the faulty (and very common) idea that you must get your message across in 30 (or so) seconds so that the person hearing it will be ready to buy from you.  While this sounds great, it is setting you up for failure.  If you are a talented enough shark you will get some clients, but most people will simply see you as a shark. You’ll be seen as a good “X” salesperson, not as a good person or friend.  When you change jobs, and YOU WILL change jobs, you will have to start over again.  How many times have seen the same guy hustling at another networking event, now with a new company?  He will be hustling until he retires, because he’s not building relationships.

So, how we build relationships?

First, attend events that meet often, at least monthly.  This way you can see the same people over and over and begin to become friends.  In addition, you can spend time with each person and create a real bond, instead of rushing to collect cards.  If you don’t get to them this meeting, there’s always next meeting.

Second, attend events where you are one of (if not the only) person who does what you do.  An example: If you are a PR person, stay away from PR/communication events and visit doctor associations.  This way you will be different and memorable.  In addition, you will be an assumed expert; since the attendees will see you often and hear you talk about your business often.

Third, speak about your business like you are just giving info, not like you are selling.  Bad example 1: “You can get placement in top magazines like, A, B and C.  Wouldn’t that be great for someone like you?”  Bad example 2: “I help companies like yours make PR work for them.  PR stands for Profits!” Good example: “Companies are using us to get positioned as an expert in the media so they can better validate their pricing.”   The top two examples will push people away.  The bottom one may actually draw them in. 

Fourth, treat NO ONE as a possible client!  Treat everyone as a possible referral source ONLY.  If you show them how to be a hero for their contacts, they are more apt to give you referrals.  In addition, if they see value for themselves, they will ask!  That means they decided to buy and were not sold.  This is a great basis for relationship selling. Also, MOST people are not your direct client, but most people are referral sources.  If you sell to them only, that’s nice, but if you get into their circles of influence, you’ve hit the mother lode.

Fifth, make your goal NOT to sell anyone, but to be memorable so you can follow up.  There are two secrets here:  1 – The more THEY TALK the more memorable you are.  2 – If your follow up fails, then your networking fails.  If you remember anything from this article remember these last two items!  They are critical.

Sixth, make your follow up NON business.  After the event do NOT send any marketing material!  Just send a nice e-mail and then ask for a meeting, a coffee, a lunch, etc…  The goal is to see how the two of you can work together.  If they are interested in buying your product/service they tell you.  Again, they have bought and haven’t been sold.  If that’s the case, you can set up a sales call.  If not, just get to know them and see if you can work together.  If not, no worries, you made a good contact that may be a good referral source, reference or possible client in the future.  You have just added someone who knows, likes and trusts you to your network.  Keep in mind, the more elite your client base is, the more they do business exclusively through referral!  The “elephants” always look for someone they know.

If you follow these tactics at every event, you will build a real network that will be there - on going.  Whether you change jobs or need help, they will still be there for clients, advice, referrals and/or even job offers.  This takes time, but is long lasting.  It is NOT cold calling in person, it’s real networking: relationship building!

Good luck!

Larry Sharpe is the Director of Neo-Sage, an influence training center in New York City.  Clients learn how to navigate relationships effectively in sales, customer service, negotiations and even in personal life.  It’s real psychology, not folklore.  He’s a Board Member of the Association for Corporate Growth, an Assistant Director for Business Networking International and a Guest Instructor at Columbia’s Graduate School of Business.  Please visit www.neo-sage.com for more info.