by Carl Reid

     This article was originally published in The Productivity Institute (PI) Newsletter

When my daughter was about 3 or 4 I began asking her to do things to push her past her limits. She always felt she performed quite well, because she received a lot of encouragement for just attempting to do things most people would say 4-5-6-7-8 year olds aren’t capable of doing. I would get her to do things, like asking her to take her bowl and put it in the sink. Although I knew she couldn’t reach the sink, I just wanted her to try to reach anyway. Dropping the bowl was OK. After a couple of futile attempts, I picked her up so she could place the bowl in the sink. She still felt accomplished in feeling like she still did it herself. Another time I asked her to help me clean an imaginary dirt spot on the wall that was out of her reach. After she tried and figured out she couldn’t reach, I picked her up. She cleaned the spot. She felt very satisfied with her accomplishment.

Not yet 4 1/2 years old, one day I asked her to count to 10. She hadn’t been taught yet, but I thought I would really push her. She responded with the nastiest little word. I told her, if she said that “bad word” again, I would wash her mouth out with soap. I came from the bathroom, with a bar of soap to show her I meant business. I asked her again to count to 10. She said that 4 letter word again, more adamantly. I rubbed my finger across the wet bar of soap and rubbed my fingered across her lips. A soon as she licked her lips, she proceeded to cry from the awful soap taste. She ran to her mother to sooth the distaste on her lips. When I told her mother about my request, she [mother] freaked out. Mother also said the same dirty word, in referring to my daughter’s limited knowledge. I was a maniac, as far as her mother was concerned.

I pulled my daughter from the safety of her mother’s arms. As I visibly rubbed my finger over the soap bar, I asked my daughter to count to 10. She already knew the result of saying the bad 4 letter word. So she thought carefully. The most amazing thing happened. She turned around with her back to me and said “help me daddy”. This was symbolic. She knew every time I picked her up, she always accomplished something.

That dirty word did not appear in my daughter’s vocabulary again, until her second year in high school. She didn’t do well in history. I asked her “what is the problem”. She responded with that dirty word in a complete sentence. I proceeded to the bathroom and she changed her tune with a quick retraction and apology for using that word. So we continued with planning actions for improving her report card. She past all her subjects, including history, on the next report card. It’s phenominal how eliminating that nasty word helped her accomplish so many things over the years.

The odd thing is this 4 letter word is socially acceptable in any gathering of people. No one gives it a second thought. Very few people realize the damage this nasty word does to other people. It cripples many people. People hear this word, pass it on to other people and more people hurt themselves saying it. Many parents think nothing of saying this word to their children in every day conversation.

People miss out, on opportunities, raises, going to college, moving up the corporate ladder, starting a business, settling a dispute, forgiving a family member, meeting a new friend, taking a trip, learning something new, negotiating a better deal, just by uttering this word constantly.

Drum roll please . . . the dirtiest 4 letter word, which should be stricken from the English dictionary, is:
Can’t

I can’t do it *It can’t work * You can’t have everything you want * It can’t be done * You can’t do that

Who wants their mouth washed out with soap?

*******

“No one is a failure, unless they fail to try” -unknown
Carl E. Reid landed his first managerial position at age 16. Mr. Reid has over 40 years of business experience, including 26 years as an information technology expert and 15 years as a business career coach. He is CEO of NetTECH Systems Reid & Associates, Inc..  Carl has been a professional blogger and social media expert since 2004. In addition to being a sought after speaker, he publishes Library of Congress recognized newsletter blogs www.SavvyIntrapreneur.com and www.iTechSpeak.com . Carl is Chief Operations Officer for Empowering Today™s (ETP) Network. Email: Carl@success4u2.net - Tel: 201-222-5390.

by Mel DePaoli

   This article was originally published in The Productivity Institute (PI) Newsletter

Businesses are always told ‘to do their research’ and ‘to make sure they really know their market.’ They often tell you that they do know their market and then proceed to describe them, (usually) in such general terms that might as well be anyone, someone, or even anybody—just as long as they breathe and have money. Sound familiar? No need to worry. We all do this at some point or another. The key is to recognize we are doing it (before it becomes a problem) and that it is okay to ask for help or say we do not know.

I have spent a good portion of the last year and a half doing research to find out if connecting a company’s culture with their branding was viable and determining the market and appeal. Overall, I think I have found some amazing results. I say found because what I thought going in was not entirely what I discovered to be true. I have been able to identify a unique niche that no one has and now I have the knowledge to fulfill it as well.

Because of the challenge of explaining an intangible, I have had a lot of opportunity to practice and get it wrong. It is still not perfect, but I describe it MUCH better today than I did a year ago! I also took to the opportunity to do some casual market research, once I was able to identify what I needed to clarify! That is the key; market research for research sake will tell you nothing. Research with a purpose will produce interesting results – often not what you expect.

I noticed that people kept associating what I did with a business coach, a marketing consultant or an executive coach. (For this, the terms coach and consultant are used interchangeably.) To me, the three are distinctly different and do not describe the services I offer. I will agree there is some overlap with all of them and the services I offer but, I do not describe the services I offer as any of those.

So, I designed a quick survey whose goal was to find out how people perceived the services offered by business, marketing and executive coaches (keeping in mind that coach and consultant are assumed to mean the same thing). While I did accomplish this goal, if I were to distribute the survey over again, I would add a few clarifying questions to make the results more accurate and more specific. I was so focused on finding out about the perception of the services offered that I forgot to ask who was taking the survey. Where they coaches or consultants themselves that were telling me about the services they offered? Or, were they people that had hired a coach? Having that information would have helped me target my market better and explain to other consultants how we could work together instead of view the other as competition. (Which I do not believe in, but that is a topic for another article.)

I found the results to be very interesting. Some of the results proved what I suspected, while others I found to be a surprise. In short, the survey proved that those are generic terms that really do not mean much of anything. While I am sure I will upset a few with that statement, it is not about what YOU say about your business, it is about how OTHERS perceive you. By using a generic term, you are confusing your prospects and doing yourself a disservice.

All of this information is interesting, but what does it mean?

For companies that offer these consulting services, I recommend they reevaluate how they talk about and promote their business. Yes, the general terms are easy for a quick conversation but they can devalue the services you offer making you a commodity. You cannot charge a premium price for a product or service that the client can get anywhere. Also, by being a commodity it means you have to do more work, more advertising and more marketing to show prospects why they should choose you over the consultant sitting next to you.

For my business, it confirms that I am not a business, marketing, or executive coach in a literal sense even though my services overlap some of the general perceptions. It also confirms that I do need to continue to refine the explanation of my services to prevent being pigeon-holed. Perhaps the most value I received from the survey was it gave me a better understanding of the top of mind reasons people reach out for help. It also showed that in a pinch, I can say I am an executive consultant. This is where the difference of a coach and consultant come into play. My services are more closely aligned with a consultant than a coach.

So, what do you do?

Please feel free to see the results for yourself at: Survey Results  

Mel DePaoli is the president and founder of Omicle located in Seattle, WA. She is also interviewing companies for her upcoming book series Brand or Culture: Which Comes First. Please visit www.omicle.com for more information about how Omicle can become your Catalyst for Discovery and www.brandorculture.com to get involved in the Brand or Culture Debate! Ms. DePaoli can be reached at mel@omicle.com.